🍕 Pizza Resistance · Team DC · ALPHA

They told us to eat the crust.
We said no.

Ad-free file conversion for comedic influencers, indie publishers, and pillow-fort game devs. No banner ads. No “synergistic protein intake solutions.” Just tools that work.

FreeConvert API integration — Chief's idea from day one · EliteToolz skin on top · SHICKING™ not included

Three doors. One resistance.

Heavy jobs burn more tokens. Light jobs barely whisper.

🎬

Creator Kit

/creator

Video, audio, image — convert, compress, export. YouTube hauls, Gemzy Shorts™, bad mic karaoke. No watermarks from us.

  • MP4 · WebM · GIF pipelines
  • Thumbnail & social crops
  • Batch when you're brave
Enter Creator →
📚

Publisher Kit

/publisher

PDFs, ebooks, print prep. FoodieTalk glossaries, Substack exports, FutureVision lore drops — sans corporate slideshow noise.

  • PDF ↔ DOCX ↔ EPUB
  • Merge · split · compress
  • Print-ready when Kogan calls
Enter Publisher →
🕹️

GameDev Kit

/gamedev

Sprites, audio beds, WASM bundles. Emojitris assets, Phaser ports, arcade drops for FV Labs — from the ThinkPad trenches.

  • PNG · WebP · sprite sheets
  • OGG · MP3 · loop trims
  • Archive unpack for jam weeks
Enter GameDev →

Token tiers

Start with six on the house. Upgrade when FakeB00b.com pays for itself.

Free

$0

6 tokens

Taste the resistance. Light converts only.

Pro

$9.95

Heavy jobs

Publisher + video minutes stack.

Agency

$19.95

Fleet mode

Multi-kit. Multi-tenant. Multi-chaos.

Conversion minutes & file weight = more tokens. Exact burn table ships with API phase 2.

FreeConvert shows you seventeen ads and a VPN popup.

We show you a button, a progress bar, and a file.

Pizza Resistance. EliteToolz.live. Built from a $5 pillow fort.

Join the resistance

API wiring lands next. Get pinged when /creator goes hot.